A FANTASY-SONG FOR, AND ABOUT, JEREMY at age 2 (with postmodernist and other echoes) by Jeremy's Grandpa I (with homage to Carl Nielsen and other gloriously great composers) Jeremy moves at the speed of light; He's here in a flash and then out of sight. Jeremy moves in hyperspace: It's terribly hard to match his pace. Jeremy, Jeremy said to his Mummy, Mummy, he said, said HE: I'm feeling quite cheery defying the Theory Of Rel-a-tiv-i-ty --- Of Rel-a-tiv-i-ty. So, let's go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, Let's go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, LET'S go walkabout, LET'S go walkabout ...What's THAT? [Gestures toward unidentified flying object] Woops doodly aa-bah, goin' like a bat! II Jeremy moves at the speed of light, etc Jeremy, Jeremy said to his Daddy, Daddy, he said, said HE: You must never go down into that black hole Without consulting me --- Without consulting me. So, let's go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, Let's go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, LET'S go walkabout, LET'S go walkabout [in Scots accent, eyes raised] ...Grr-WOOF! Wipps doodly aa-bah, doggie on the ROOF! III Jeremy moves at the speed of light, etc Jeremy, Jeremy said to his Grandma (which- Ever of two she might BE): Its ONLY a game using Quantum-Mechanical Non-lo-cal-i-ty. (Non-lo-cal-i-ty.) So, let's go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, Let's go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, LET'S go walkabout, LET'S go walkabout ...Me-OWW! [eyes lowered, then raised] Woops doodly aa-bah, birdie on the BOUGH! [loud whisper:] (Isn't it lucky that cows don't fly....) IV Jeremy moves at the speed of light, etc Jeremy, Jeremy said to his Grandpa (One or another of THREE): I'm slippin' an' slidin' an' glithery-glidin' On wormholes made for tea --- On wormholes made for tea. [Loud whisper \`a la Bertrand Welch:] You sam, it's a sort of 4-dimensional macaroni. [Here the listener may participate by talking across boring old Bertrand with some loud remark such as:] Ectually, it's all a load of nonsense/codswallop/... Zis is absolut zheebberish... but anyvay, LET'S go valkabout,... [In Jacques Derrida accent] Ah, ze deconstruction of relativistic gastronomie! (In Stephen Hawking accent] So-now-we-know-the-mind-of-God. But anyway, Mm.. LET'S go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, Let's go walkabout, walkabout, walkabout, LET'S go walkabout, LET'S go walkabout ...What's THIS? [Raise both arms] Woops doodly aa-bah, how about a GLISS--SAN--DO-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O V Jeremy moves at the speed of light, etc [forte, glorioso] Jeremy, Jeremy said to Bagheera, Swift as the wind you may BE... BUT... I'm Here in a flash and then gone in a dash and you Can't catch up with ME --- YOU [dancing from one foot to the other] Can't catch up with me --- [out of breath] Can't --- catch --- up --- with --- me.... [Nielsen 3rd Symphony quote] Oh, Jeremy, Jeremy, who are you? Jeremy, Jeremy, I love you! Let's go walkabout, you and me, Let's make music, one, two, three, Fancy free, You and me, Flying high, You and I. Let's walk into Fantasy Land, Let's go play in the Big Jazz Band: Dooby-dooby a-ba, Dooby-dooby a-ba, It's Big Bill, Oh what a thrill! [handclaps on "DUP", but speeding UP:] Bi-dooby-DUP, bi-dooby-DUP, bi-dooby-DUP, bi-dooby-DUP, Bi-deeby-DUP, bi-deeby-DUP, bi-deeby-DUP, bi-deeby-DUP, [faster:] Bi-deeby-dooby-daaby-DUP, bi-deeby-dooby-daaby-DUP, [faster and faster:] Bi-dooby-deeby-daaby-DUP, bi-dooby-deeby-daaby-DUP, [VERY fast:] Fwwtt, 'ave a banana, slidin' down the hill! [finger to lips:] [cover one eye] [cover the other] (.......... ....Peek-a-boo! ....I love you!) [Try to sweep Jeremy up into your arms, and swing him round once or twice] VI (Finale) Jeremy moves at the speed of light; He's here in a flash and then out of sight. Jeremy moves in hyperspace: It's terribly hard to MATCH HIS PACE (terribly hard to match his pace), Terribly hard, terribly hard, terribly hard, terribly hard, TERRIBLY HARD --- to match his PACE... [[winged horses streak overhead, ridden by some Valkyries and Till Eulenspiegel]] What's this? What's that? Well, that's... IT! 4'25" ********** THE END ***********